About

// about

Hi, I’m Jeff.

I’m a husband to Katie, a dad to Chris and Ollie, and the guy people call when something breaks. I spent six years in Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal, and today I’m a security engineer. For most of my life, I’ve been the go-to problem solver for my family, my friends, and the people I work with.

For a long time, I was better at solving everyone else’s problems than my own. Decoded Dad is where I share what I’ve learned from finally working on mine.

Why I started writing

I turned 40 this July. On the road there, I hit a reckoning. Not the sports-car kind. The quieter kind, where you look at your life and ask who you are when you’re not fixing something for someone else.

So I’m taking stock: of the work I’ve done and the work I’m still doing, of my mental health and my confidence, and of the kind of man, husband, and father I want to be. I’m not finished, and I don’t think anyone ever is. But I’ve learned enough to be useful to someone a few steps behind me on the same road.

Where I come from

Six years in Army EOD taught me to slow down when the stakes are highest, to respect what I don’t understand yet, and to work the problem one step at a time. Turns out that’s good advice for a lot more than bombs and bullets.

I got into security for a personal reason. My grandmother was scammed by people hiding behind technology, and watching someone I love get taken advantage of made it real in a way nothing else could. My family knew me as the “tech nerd,” but when real scammers and hackers hit home, my IT tinkering was barely enough. So I started learning everything I could about keeping the people I love safe. Since then, I’ve built security programs, grown teams, and, for a while, ran my own small company, SheppTech.

This year, we packed up our life near Buffalo, New York, and moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, “the Grand Strand,” as the locals call it. Moving wasn’t new to me, but it was Katie’s first long-distance move, and we wanted the boys settled before they put down roots. Every move has its challenges, but my family and our excitement made this one the easiest yet.

Our house is loud in the best way: two boys and three dogs, Chewy, Sudo, and Rosie. The boys still remind me how much they miss Opie, who we loved and lost as a family. I honestly don’t know how I made it through that one, but the stomping feet and tapping toe beans made it harder to get stuck in my own head. We’re strong together, and I’m proud to be part of something I thought I’d lost a long time ago.

What you’ll find here

Everything here falls under three pillars: The Man (confidence, mental health, purpose, and figuring out who you are at any age), The Life (marriage, fatherhood, family, and starting over), and The Machine (security, AI, and tech in plain language, so you can protect the people you love without fear or jargon). You’ll find it as a new blog post every week, shorter notes and threads on social media in between, and The Sunday Letter, a monthly roundup of all of it, sent on a Sunday.

My commitment to you

My commitment to you is simple. I’ll write in plain language, without fearmongering, and I’ll be honest about what I’ve gotten wrong as well as what’s actually worked. I won’t pretend to have it all figured out. I’ll share what I know as clearly as I can, and I’ll treat every question as a good one. And the words are mine: I use AI only as a revision tool, the way you’d use a good editor. The stories and lessons come from me.

Wherever you are on your own road, I’m glad you’re here. If this sounds like something you need, get The Sunday Letter, one honest letter a month that brings it all together. New here? Start here.

— Jeff